What Asia Learned in Puppy Class

I'm so proud.

So Asia graduated the other day. How time flies! It seems like only yesterday she was a not-overweight, not-spoiled, not-crazy-haired little girl. I can still remember her very first "Oh my God what IS that I MUST have it!!" encounter with peanut butter.

But now she has an education. 

She's come to know the critical realities of Bil-Jac Little-Jacs liver treats.

Due to her "weight problem" (as the trainer politely termed it), she shouldn't have the "Liver Pate" allowed her puppy classmate. But she was allowed half of a Little-Jac for each "Good Girl!!" 

(How to make half of a Little-Jac: Take one Little-Jac from the bag, try to get your nail into it as if to divide it, attempt to press the crumbs that result into something you can squeeze between two fingers to make one "treat," try to get dog's attention away from crumbs that fall onto the floor.)

Asia took "Puppy Class" because she hadn't had prior training (as far as anyone could tell), even though she's likely over a year old. Her one classmate was an actual puppy, who started the class around Asia's size but, to Asia's growing annoyance, grew bigger over the six weeks.

What Asia learned:

1. The distinct sound of the Little-Jac bag opening and closing is something to get really excited about!

2. Check the floor for Little-Jac crumbles.

3. Randomly running around, sitting, lying, following, staying, etc. eventually leads to a piece of Little-Jac. Somehow.

4. When in doubt, sit and blink in irresistibly adorable fashion.

5. Puppies are just so totally immature.

6. Immature puppies who are bigger than one's self must be put in their place.

7. If standing on hind legs and waving paws in the air doesn't work, retreat to under-chair trench and prepare for major assault tactic.

8. Major assault tactic from under-chair trench: bark and growl in a soprano version of German Shepherd Dog roommate, successfully getting the trainer to glare at my human, the puppy and its owners to stare at me in a confused manner, and everybody else in the store to stop whatever they were doing to focus on me, and me alone.

9. Check the floor for more Little-Jac crumbles.

10. "Bye-bye" time is "I'm full" time, so no reason left to do anything the human wants. (And I get a car ride home for nothing -- saweet!)