The Goofus and Gallant of Schools

Remember Goofus and Gallant? The magazine Highlights for Children featured these two characters to illustrate proper behavior through contrast. For instance, “Goofus eats his peas with a knife and cuts his tongue.” “Gallant eats his peas with a fork.” (It’s kind of a no-brainer since Goofus is bleeding profusely.)

This is a great technique for contrasts in various contexts. For instance, Politics: “Goofus is caught having extra-marital affairs and his career is ruined.” “Gallant is caught breaking international law and earns the Medal of Freedom.”

Parenting: “Goofus gives in when his kids say they want to have a beer party at the house.” “Gallant makes the kids say ‘please’ first.”

Work: “Goofus gets advanced degrees in music and becomes a renowned expert in his field.” “Gallant has a job. With healthcare benefits.”

(Who’s cynical?)

I’ve been thinking about the Goofus and Gallant of Arts Schools. (Any resemblance to actual schools of the arts is purely coincidental, of course.) 

Gallant School shows appreciation for its faculty by showing respect, listening to them, and supporting their work.

Goofus School shows appreciation for its faculty by saying in biannual speeches that they appreciate the faculty. Also, M&Ms on Valentine’s Day.

Gallant School holds weekly meetings for faculty to share ideas, brainstorm, and create integrated plans.

Goofus School holds two meetings a year to talk at the faculty, with no interdepartmental faculty discussions.

Gallant School is run by artists with expertise in education, human development, curriculum, and current research.

Goofus School is run by administrators with expertise in sending email, making phone calls, using copy machines, having meetings, whitening their teeth, and paying themselves lots of money.

Gallant School’s leaders have offices in open loft areas, mingle with the classrooms, and are always available to students, parents and faculty.

Goofus School’s leaders have offices on a separate floor from classrooms, maintain an upstairs/downstairs divide, and state that they have no reason to speak with parents or students.

Gallant School views itself as a unified whole where everyone is involved in its purpose: education in and through the arts.

Goofus School views itself as corporate entity with lots of offices. There’s also a separate Education Department inhabited by The Education People.

(Gallant School: It’s a school. Isn’t everybody in a school “education people?”)

(Goofus School: You wouldn’t understand. Go back downstairs.)

Gallant School keeps up with educational news, frequently sends teachers interesting articles to read at home, and continually strives to improve quality.

Goofus School keeps up with gossip, frequently sends teachers notices that the copier is out of order to read at home, and continually strives to keep things exactly the same.

Gallant School says, “What are you thinking? That sounds wonderful! Let’s make it work.”

Goofus School says, “What? Are you thinking? That sounds impossible! We tried it before and it didn’t work.”

Gallant School continues to grow, serves as a model for teacher education, and embraces the challenges of change.

Goofus School continues to groan, serves as a model of what not to do, and is challenged to figure out why things don’t change.